Sunday, June 5, 2011

A Long Road

Chances are if you've held a conversation with me at any time, you know I've had health problems for the past few years. Dizziness, fatigue, pain, and heart problems were enough to drop me out of high school and put many things in my life on indefinite hold.

As far as education is concerned, I'm convinced that dropping out of high school was the best thing the school could have forced upon me. I didn't mean to drop out; it happened because I missed a lot of days and Abington Heights decided to unenroll me. It lifted a lot of stress and removed tons of classes that I would never use. It gave me an opportunity to freely persue hobbies like drawing, jewelry, and fractals, among others. I wouldn't be as far ahead in those areas - if involved in them at all - if I had finished high school.

I'll be heading to college this fall, if all goes accordingly, to persue a career as a high school social studies teacher. Lately, I've wondered what this choice will do for the more artistic areas of my life, so I intend to continue building my art skills as well.

As for my health, years of searching for things has brought me no difinitive answers. Though I haven't gone to a doctor to formally diagnose it, I'm positive that I have bipolar disorder. How I discovered that is a strange story that's sort of irrelevent at the moment. I have no answers for the headaches and dizziness, other than a stressful life. I have several possibilities for chest pains, all of which are untreatable. My heart palpitations (my heart rate can pass 200 while sitting) have no answers, either.

There are a lot of areas in my life that I feel need work, and with some recent developments concerning some people very close to me, I think it's about time I take those areas by the reigns and organize them into their respective stalls. I feel I've strayed quite far from things that used to fuel my inspiration and give me something to look forward to every day. Health issues have kept me away from other aspects of my life for too long. If I have to live my life with these health issues, so be it, just as long as I can get the rest of my life on track and moving in the direction I'd like it to go.

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