Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Weird Things You Probably Don't Know About Me

I assume my boyfriend knows all of this stuff (since he lives with me), and I imagine a lot of it has come up around our closest friends as well. For the rest of you, I make no sense. These are in no particular order (sorry), and some are much more serious than others.

I eat my oatmeal dry.
It's gross when it's warm and mushy. D: I use a spoon and eat it right out of the packet.

I went to court for truancy.
In 4th grade, I had a lot of really bad friend issues. The girl I thought was my best friend was sort of terrible, and then she was worse when I decided I'd had enough of her. On top of it, there was this other girl that wasn't mature enough to handle any of the stuff we were going through. They were pretty much the only friends I had, and I missed a lot of school. In 5th grade, it was a new school building with the older grades, and the four elementary schools are all put together and shuffled around. The grade is split up into two "teams" where each team has like, 5 teachers. You might move around in your own team, but you would never do anything with the other team. That means I have like, no friends in my classes (in fact, there was only one person in my class that went to the same elementary school as I did), no one to talk to at lunch, and an unfamiliar environment. Instead of giving me help or trying to set it up so I could work from home because I clearly had severe issues, there was a time when I was carried by the principal to his office, forced onto a school bus, and generally humiliated on a regular basis by my teachers. I missed enough school that I had to go to the magistrate and risk going into foster care, which probably would have led to me running away or committing suicide, to be totally honest. My own family has trouble dealing with my food habits and personal endeavors; a new family would have no chance. Anyway, it all worked out and the one girl I knew sort of adopted me, and even though she lives across the country now, we're still great friends. I obviously stayed with my own family and continued on in school, only to later drop out against my will (though I should have done it anyway). Still, the whole experience was a big pile of trauma that I really didn't need.

I taught myself how to read.
I used to make my family read me stories constantly. I would follow along with the words, and before I knew it, I recognized tons of words. I was able to read books by myself without any of them lifting a finger to teach me anything. As I moved into more advanced books, I picked up grammar and punctuation like it was nothing. English classes refined what I already knew. I knew college-level grammar rules by middle school. Latin really helped pull it all together. After all, we had to understand our own grammar before we could put it in Latin.

I play trumpet really damn well.
I picked up the trumpet for band in 5th grade. Needless to say, my frequent absences made me one of the worst. I stayed after school with our horrible teacher, and she told me to quit and pick up a different instrument because I had an overbite. My dentist, by the way, says I do not. Anyway, I somehow learned it all really fast, because by freshman year of high school, I was the best of my grade's trumpets. All that with minimal at-home practicing (and none after like, 7th grade).

Dogs kind of scare me.
I've been around cats my whole life. When I was little, we had a dog, but we kept her outside, so I never interacted with her at all. When I went to friends' houses, sometimes they had dogs that would bark at me and jump on me and lick me. It was the scariest thing ever. I've pretty much gotten over it now, but I still don't like jumpy dogs. I'm usually just worried they'll knock me over and drool on me. I also don't want to get scratched by them, even though I know in most cases the dogs mean no harm.

I've never done laundry in my life.
I've helped at the laundromat before we had our own stuff, but that was when I was like, 10 and younger. Don't make me do laundry. It probably won't end well.

I taught myself how to cook.
I never cooked anything other than the occasional baked goods before I was 17 or so. When I started having health problems, my sleep schedule got all screwy, and I was often up at night with only my boyfriend. I learned how to make tons of baked goods, and from there, I taught myself how to do meats and stuff. Now I'm totally self-sufficient and make better meals than the rest of my family. I even have my own way of making rice, which I had never even eaten until a few months ago.

October is my favorite month. 
Fall is my favorite season. I love the temperature - perfect for a light jacket - and the smell of leaves. October is pretty great. I love Halloween, my birthday comes on the 23rd, and it's a whole month dedicated to pumpkin bread, hayrides, corn mazes, and pretty leaves.
A good example of Octoberness.

I'm terrified of soccer.
I have next to no coordination with my feet. I was lucky I survived marching band. Add to that an incident where I got hit in the face with a soccer ball and got really swollen, and you'll find that it's one of the worst things you can ever make me do. I'm just not aggressive enough to like sports, and in soccer, it's aggressive or get yelled at my the teacher.

I hate guys who give me special treatment because I'm female.
I've always had friends who were male. In elementary school, most of my friends were boys. In high school, the main group I hung out with (and still often see) was a bunch of big guys who played video games and looked really damn intimidating. Despite the fact that I was like, a third of their size and hardly played games, we got along great. I've had lots of my guy friends tell me they think of me as just "one of the guys," and that means a lot to me. To contrast, I've worked with people on projects who think they need to be careful not to offend the girl of the group. They're nice to me so they don't hurt my feelings. They don't joke with me about the same things, or tell me which porn stars they think are really hot. It's frustrating. In ways, I think on a more masculine level anyway; I don't care about the petty drama that a lot of girls do, and I don't feel the need to flirt with every male in the vicinity to get get what I want. The guys I'm used to don't care about any of that crap either. Also, despite the fact that some of them look like they could and would break someone in half, they're there to listen if I want to open up about a relationship I'm in or something. That's what I'm used to. I don't want the mindset that you shouldn't hit girls, that girls are easily upset, that girls get offended if you talk about your man parts, and etcetera. If you're a guy that really wants my friendship, than don't treat me any differently than the other guys you hang around. Give me the same hand-reddening high fives and complain about your girlfriend.

My religious views are confusing.
I'm not a Christian, but I believe God exists. I refuse to serve a being who supposedly created life with a free will and expects that life to obey his every command. That being said, I think most of the Bible is a load of crap. I believe most deities exist, and I do not believe any one of them is omnipotent, or even close to that. I think they are simply immortal beings on another plane of existence who offer protection to their followers. I believe there is a measure of truth in all religions, but I don't believe any of them entirely. Pagan beliefs are the closest to my own, so I suppose if I had to label myself, I'd say I was a pagan. I believe in an afterlife, and also in a form of reincarnation. I don't believe in an eternal punishment for your actions in your tiny amount of years on this Earth. I believe sin is dictated by the people of the world, not by a deity. I believe that we are here to learn about ourselves and our spirit's past forms on our way to bettering ourselves, much like the concept of Nirvana. I will not dedicate myself to a being. I have respect for the laws of society and the people I interact with, and I am doing what I can to improve the world of the living. I will not offer praise to a being on another plane of existence. I believe in fate, but not in karma. I believe our origins are mostly evolutionist. I think everything happens for a reason, and that if we spend a lifetime working towards one goal, that is how we were meant to spend that lifetime. Perhaps we'll never see it come to fruition, but a century later, the work will be recognized; maybe it was all useless, but it will prevent others from following the same path. Either way, I believe everything coincides with other events, and everything is connected.

I am allergic to two specific laundry detergents.
Gain and Dynamo both have a chemical that makes me really, really itchy. I don't know what chemical it is, so I don't know what others have it, but those two do for sure. I think it's the only specific allergy I have, other than nickel, which almost everyone has.

I would rather be in a snake pit than have one spider on me.
I like snakes. I think they're really cool, and I also know how to not agitate them. Spiders want me dead. Every time I see a spider, I ask someone to kill it. If they don't, it ends up crawling up my leg sometime later on. Never fails. It's like they see me as this all-you-can-eat buffet.

I can't wear thongs.
I disagree 100% with anyone who says they're comfortable.

I've never watched porn.
Seems awkward. XP

I'm slightly lactose intolerant.
I can eat milk in my cereal, but I prefer 2%. Whole milk makes me a little nauseous. A lot of 2% will, too, but it's usually okay to have a bowl or two of cereal. 1% and skim are just yucky.

I have really, really dry skin.
If I dry off too much with a towel, I might just disintegrate. 

I like guys with either blonde or black hair.
Even though they're opposites, those two colors are the best. Style depends drastically on the person, though I made this thing on DeviantART and noticed that I'll probably really like you if your face is obscured by your hair. (Mechazawa is a joke. Pay no attention to that. XD)
Also, I apparently like guys who are sadistic and/or mass murderers.

I can't stand whistling.
It gives me a very, very bad headache. I don't know why. If it's low, it's tolerable, but I still hate it.

I love really soft fabrics.
This is probably because of my dry skin, really. I'm way more likely to buy a shirt because of how soft it is over how nice it looks. Luckily, there's Deb, and most of the shirts they sell are both. I recently bought a nice blanket at Borders that's pretty much the softest thing I can use to make myself into a burrito. Best $16 I ever spent.

I flip between being dominating and submissive.
There are situations where I'm totally fine with taking orders, mostly when I don't want responsibility or want to trust someone's judgement. Other times, I want control over every minute detail. Let's not even go near the sexual implications of this.

I have weird elbows.
When I extend my arm, the joint can go past 180 degrees. I can actually touch the insides of my elbows together. My friends say they look broken. It's pretty funny. I'm also able to lick my elbow. 

I don't like chocolate things.
Specifically, chocolate cake, frosting, and ice cream. I love marble cake, though. It's my favorite. I can eat chocolate cake and icing, but they're usually just too sweet for me. I only ever do so when PMS drives me into a chocolate-craving frenzy. I always regret it afterwards.

I hate feminism.
Dear women of the world: without men, you wouldn't exist. My mother is one of those women who jumps at any opportunity to say things like "that's a guy for you" or "men are worthless." It gets irritating really fast. It's a good part of why I generally like guys more. Sure, you have the occasional remark about how women make no God damn sense, but there's never this idea that the world would be better without them. Feminist women seem to think we'll be able to reproduce asexually one day and that the male gender will become obsolete (my mother believes this, by the way), and I'm sorry (I'm not), but that's just ridiculous. Plus, I love men. They can fit any need, from cuddly and adorable to sex god. That's more than you can say about most women, who range from petty ditz to sort-of-compassionate ditz.
Look how cute it is. Don't you want one?

I'm pretty good at real-time strategy games.
Age of Mythology is a fantastic game, and I'm pretty decent at it. My able-to-do-500-things-at-once mind is very well suited to the multitasking you need for RTS games.

I'm a democrat.
Plain and simple. My views are pretty moderate, but definitely lean more left. 

So I guess that's about it for now. There's tons of other stuff I could add, but for now, I guess you know a little more about me that you probably didn't know already.

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