Go ask me questions and stuff!
http://eternalnight11.tumblr.com/
I have it set up so you can ask anonymously, so if you wanna have to give me your info, you can still pester me!
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Quick RSS Update
I set the ads on my RSS feed to be only text, so no more image ads. :) I don't know how many people are subscribed to my feed (I knew at one point, and now I have no idea how to check), but thanks and enjoy less invasive advertising.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
A Long Absence
Stuff is, well, a wreck. I'm having terrible heart palpitations, and just yesterday, I had some really bad pain from food poisoning. Don't eat bad potatoes. Seriously. I'm busy working on the video game still. There's lots of concept art for me to do. I'm still writing, and I'm trying to get super hardcore awesome at digital art. That's what's going on with me. I can't say when I'll have enough time to get back to doing this blog, but I really do plan on it.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
What I've Been Up To
So I know I've really vanished off the face of the planet for a while. Life's gotten pretty busy. Right now, I'm working as an artist for an up and coming video game company. I can't say anything about the game yet, but it's coming along well. I'm also designing some dungeons and maps for another game company. I've been doing a lot of freelance art commissions, some paid, some not. It doesn't matter much to me. I really like doing things for other people, especially tattoo designs. I've done quite a few of those lately.
I've also been having health problems again. It's nothing new, but I thought my health was stabilizing, and now that all my issues are back, I guess I can't be so hopeful. I'm hoping to start college in the fall for Social Studies Education, whether I'm in poor health or not. I've got to get back into making jewelry, too.
In other news, my laptop has a dying harddrive. It crashed on me around Christmas, I fixed it, and now it's about to die again. I hope my warrantee covers that and replaces it for me. I totally can't afford a new harddrive.
Anyway, I've beens spending a great deal of time doing artwork stuff and baking. I really hope to get back into this blogging thing, but stuff is really hectic and sort of a mess.
In much more important news, the story I'm writing is almost done, and I've started posting it to DeviantART. Here's the first chapter:
http://eternalnight11.deviantart.com/art/Among-the-People-Lost-Chap-1-194048169
I've also been having health problems again. It's nothing new, but I thought my health was stabilizing, and now that all my issues are back, I guess I can't be so hopeful. I'm hoping to start college in the fall for Social Studies Education, whether I'm in poor health or not. I've got to get back into making jewelry, too.
In other news, my laptop has a dying harddrive. It crashed on me around Christmas, I fixed it, and now it's about to die again. I hope my warrantee covers that and replaces it for me. I totally can't afford a new harddrive.
Anyway, I've beens spending a great deal of time doing artwork stuff and baking. I really hope to get back into this blogging thing, but stuff is really hectic and sort of a mess.
In much more important news, the story I'm writing is almost done, and I've started posting it to DeviantART. Here's the first chapter:
http://eternalnight11.deviantart.com/art/Among-the-People-Lost-Chap-1-194048169
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Yikes!
I've been gone for a while! I think life is starting to calm down now that my friends are off to college and stuff, so hopefully I'll be posting more. I'll upload a ton of daily art and schedule it for each day, so that'll be there at least. What have I been busy with, you ask? A whole ton of random crap. I've had parties and picnics and board games and spontaneous camping trips. It's been ridiculous. I'm writing a story right now, too, and that will be done soon. For now, enjoy some photos of FarmJammaLamma, a concert festival thing in Brookville, PA. It was a ton of fun. :)
Monday, July 19, 2010
Poof
So I've been gone a while I guess. Life's been super busy. I probably should be blogging about all the super fantastic awesome things that have been happening, but it's all coming too fast to keep up with! I hope I'll be able to get back into things soon, but for now, everything's just a mess.
Friday, June 4, 2010
New Project
Haven't had much artwork, with the busy festivities over Memorial Day weekend. I did, however, start a new blog yesterday complaining about all the dumb pages and groups on Facebook. :D
http://thefacebookcritic.blogspot.com/
http://thefacebookcritic.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Insanity and My Addiction to Pain
I know this little blog isn't super popular. I only have 6 subscribers in total, and a couple of those are only here for my daily art and jewelry crap. I don't see the names of the people who subscribe to my blog's feed, but I'm willing to bet that those people aren't four of my closest friends who know me inside out. Most of the things I blog about aren't really personal. I mainly want to share my art, recipes, and (sometimes) experiences. This post, however, will give you a real look into my life and mind.
I am probably one of the best examples of a person debilitated by stress. I live with three cats, my mother, her two sisters, and her two brothers, one of which has Down Syndrome. My boyfriend moved in about a year and a half ago. So far, maybe this doesn't seem so bad. What seventeen-year-old gets to live with her boyfriend, for that's how old I was at the time he moved in? Keep in mind that no one in my family went to college. They all have entry-level jobs in food service, so they put in about forty hours a week for little money. That's part of why we live together. The bigger reason is to take care of Chris, my retarded uncle.
My two aunts (I have a third, but she is the only married member of the family and lives outside of this house) are easily two of the dumbest, ignorant, most miserable people I've ever met. They're kind to others, especially at work where they deal with people all day, but all the tension and anger piles up until the get home, when they complain about things that are out of their control and have stupid reasons for hating the world. They also fuss over the cats like they're their children, picking them up whenever they walk by, kissing them constantly (and loudly) and talking to them like babies. It's beyond words how awful this is. My cat's shrink back from them sometimes, but they don't care.
Among almost all of the family members, there's arguing. My mom is almost deaf in one ear from wearing a headset at work all day, so she's obnoxiously loud naturally, and pairing that with a couple irritable people makes for stress that you can't know unless you've been there. Recently, my uncle Chris has been declining, and it seems like every plan to get him help has failed to get off the ground. No one really knows how to treat him kindly, so he goes into his room and screams at them through the door. They usually yell back. More stress.
I have almost every stress-induced symptom known to man. I have severe joint pain, insomnia, chronic fatigue (even when I sleep well), weight issues (loss in my case), dizziness, headaches, migraines, and spotty vision. All of that made me miss so much school my junior year that the school dropped me out. Up until my junior year I only had the headaches and insomnia, then everything came on at once. Instead of staying up for 24 hours, I could only stay awake for 8. I was a wreck.
I've been depressed for years, probably as early as my seventh grade, I'd say. I'm the type to really lash out at someone who really pisses me off, but I usually have to hold that in check. I have enough control to never lash out at a teacher, for instance, mostly because I've always cared very much about consequences and first impressions. My anger is reserved for those who will forgive me later, which has caused more problems than anything, really. I've been in relationships that were perfect up until it reached a certain point of comfort, then they attracted my wrath like a magnet, ending the relationship.
Music has been my outlet. Many people out there say metal and hard rock music promotes violence. Maybe for the weak. For me, I channel my anger into those grinding melodies and let it relax me. The metal pulls the anger away, and I feel much better afterwards. I've never turned to smoking, cutting, drugs, or alcohol. Those leave permanent scars, and scars aren't consequences I like. Furthermore, what if alcohol, for instance, brought me pain relief that I never imagined? Then I have the type of personality to become Clark Summit, PA's next alcoholic. Good bye, life! I don't even like taking pain relievers for the same reason. I know Advil is not physically addictive, but I don't want it as my crutch. I've built up an abnormally high pain tolerance over the years just because I've suffered through so many headaches.
With my current boyfriend Tim in the picture, my insomnia has barely existed. But right now he's away for a two week testing period at a college he may attend. He's been gone over a week, and in that week, I've barely slept. All the stress has no outlet. I'm a machine of angst, adrenaline, and pain. Every part of my body hurts right now.
With every waking hour, I feel a million emotions. The slightest thing makes me panic. I'm hostile to almost everyone and everything. Little bits of insanity keep poking in through my armor of anger, weakened as it is by my horrid sleep patterns. I feel the need to release all of it, but I can't. I'm drawn to that pain like a heroine addict is drawn to a needle. I let it build and build, and the more it builds, the more insane I become - the more sadistic, panicked, volatile, and agonized I become. It is a terrifying, exhilarating, tingling feeling all over my body. All the conflicting emotions bring out the adrenaline and the inspiration.
I have spent years training myself to embrace the pain rather than hide it. I practically absorb it into myself, using it as fuel to keep myself going day after day.
Perhaps that is why I am an insomniac.
I am probably one of the best examples of a person debilitated by stress. I live with three cats, my mother, her two sisters, and her two brothers, one of which has Down Syndrome. My boyfriend moved in about a year and a half ago. So far, maybe this doesn't seem so bad. What seventeen-year-old gets to live with her boyfriend, for that's how old I was at the time he moved in? Keep in mind that no one in my family went to college. They all have entry-level jobs in food service, so they put in about forty hours a week for little money. That's part of why we live together. The bigger reason is to take care of Chris, my retarded uncle.
My two aunts (I have a third, but she is the only married member of the family and lives outside of this house) are easily two of the dumbest, ignorant, most miserable people I've ever met. They're kind to others, especially at work where they deal with people all day, but all the tension and anger piles up until the get home, when they complain about things that are out of their control and have stupid reasons for hating the world. They also fuss over the cats like they're their children, picking them up whenever they walk by, kissing them constantly (and loudly) and talking to them like babies. It's beyond words how awful this is. My cat's shrink back from them sometimes, but they don't care.
Among almost all of the family members, there's arguing. My mom is almost deaf in one ear from wearing a headset at work all day, so she's obnoxiously loud naturally, and pairing that with a couple irritable people makes for stress that you can't know unless you've been there. Recently, my uncle Chris has been declining, and it seems like every plan to get him help has failed to get off the ground. No one really knows how to treat him kindly, so he goes into his room and screams at them through the door. They usually yell back. More stress.
I have almost every stress-induced symptom known to man. I have severe joint pain, insomnia, chronic fatigue (even when I sleep well), weight issues (loss in my case), dizziness, headaches, migraines, and spotty vision. All of that made me miss so much school my junior year that the school dropped me out. Up until my junior year I only had the headaches and insomnia, then everything came on at once. Instead of staying up for 24 hours, I could only stay awake for 8. I was a wreck.
I've been depressed for years, probably as early as my seventh grade, I'd say. I'm the type to really lash out at someone who really pisses me off, but I usually have to hold that in check. I have enough control to never lash out at a teacher, for instance, mostly because I've always cared very much about consequences and first impressions. My anger is reserved for those who will forgive me later, which has caused more problems than anything, really. I've been in relationships that were perfect up until it reached a certain point of comfort, then they attracted my wrath like a magnet, ending the relationship.
Music has been my outlet. Many people out there say metal and hard rock music promotes violence. Maybe for the weak. For me, I channel my anger into those grinding melodies and let it relax me. The metal pulls the anger away, and I feel much better afterwards. I've never turned to smoking, cutting, drugs, or alcohol. Those leave permanent scars, and scars aren't consequences I like. Furthermore, what if alcohol, for instance, brought me pain relief that I never imagined? Then I have the type of personality to become Clark Summit, PA's next alcoholic. Good bye, life! I don't even like taking pain relievers for the same reason. I know Advil is not physically addictive, but I don't want it as my crutch. I've built up an abnormally high pain tolerance over the years just because I've suffered through so many headaches.
With my current boyfriend Tim in the picture, my insomnia has barely existed. But right now he's away for a two week testing period at a college he may attend. He's been gone over a week, and in that week, I've barely slept. All the stress has no outlet. I'm a machine of angst, adrenaline, and pain. Every part of my body hurts right now.
With every waking hour, I feel a million emotions. The slightest thing makes me panic. I'm hostile to almost everyone and everything. Little bits of insanity keep poking in through my armor of anger, weakened as it is by my horrid sleep patterns. I feel the need to release all of it, but I can't. I'm drawn to that pain like a heroine addict is drawn to a needle. I let it build and build, and the more it builds, the more insane I become - the more sadistic, panicked, volatile, and agonized I become. It is a terrifying, exhilarating, tingling feeling all over my body. All the conflicting emotions bring out the adrenaline and the inspiration.
I have spent years training myself to embrace the pain rather than hide it. I practically absorb it into myself, using it as fuel to keep myself going day after day.
Perhaps that is why I am an insomniac.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
New Template
It's really purple. I might change the text colors in a few days if this doesn't work out, but I'll keep it the same for now.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Absence
I've been quite busy the past couple weeks. My boyfriend and I were hosting a murder mystery party for a friend. It was to be a going away party, but he may not move. By the time we knew that he might be staying, the plans were well underway, so we went ahead and had the party anyway. It was loads of fun.
I've really been trying to be more active on Deviant Art lately. I entered a contest today. :D Here's my entry: http://eternalnight11.deviantart.com/art/Love-Note-154439942
I feel like I've lost a lot of motivation for many reasons, including depression, fatigue, and a lack of routine. Stress-induced illness hhit me so hard that it knocked me out of high school my junior year. I should be a senior now, but it was either re-enroll the next year and repeat junior year, or get my GED. I probably would have had the same problems the next year, so I dropped out permanently. It was for the best. Leaving school removed a lot of stress, though I still have plenty. I plan on getting my GED very soon, looking into colleges, deciding what I want to do with my life, and moving out of my stressful living situation.
Having structure in my life is what I need the most right now. With structure, there's more urgency to get things done, and thus, motivation to continue. Until I get everything on track, the blog posts may be spotty, but I'll try.
I've really been trying to be more active on Deviant Art lately. I entered a contest today. :D Here's my entry: http://eternalnight11.deviantart.com/art/Love-Note-154439942
I feel like I've lost a lot of motivation for many reasons, including depression, fatigue, and a lack of routine. Stress-induced illness hhit me so hard that it knocked me out of high school my junior year. I should be a senior now, but it was either re-enroll the next year and repeat junior year, or get my GED. I probably would have had the same problems the next year, so I dropped out permanently. It was for the best. Leaving school removed a lot of stress, though I still have plenty. I plan on getting my GED very soon, looking into colleges, deciding what I want to do with my life, and moving out of my stressful living situation.
Having structure in my life is what I need the most right now. With structure, there's more urgency to get things done, and thus, motivation to continue. Until I get everything on track, the blog posts may be spotty, but I'll try.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
2010
I've been absent from the blogging world for a couple weeks due to a heap of holiday tasks and family events. Now that my life has returned to its daily stream of monotony, I'll be posting my daily art again and writing articles and stuff. Hopefully 2010 will bring in some more followers, as well. :P
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
A Video Blog
My boyfriend and I run a site called The Dragon's Claw. It's a fantasy fansite. Anyway, we just did our very first video blog! Go watch it.
http://the-dragons-claw.webs.com/apps/blog/
http://the-dragons-claw.webs.com/apps/blog/
Friday, November 27, 2009
New Blog Name
Since several blogs have the name "Order of Chaos," I decided to change mine to "Logically Illogical," which is how I answered my boyfriend when he asked how my reasoning makes any sense. :P
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