Things I Did This Week

1. Ate fish sticks! I've never had fish before in my life. Seriously. XD

2. Started unloading trucks at Walmart. It's kinda fun. :D

3. Learned how to speedpaint from watching a very good tutorial.

4. Ran out of money from Target and tax returns.

5. Got my first Walmart paycheck to replenish that money.

6. Made chicken marinated in whiskey. It had lots of flavor.

7. Took nice portraits of Tim.

8. Tried Nutella. Not as tasty as everyone thinks it is, in my opinion.

9. Started eating bagels with peanut butter instead of plain.

10. Pulled super heavy pallets ALL OVER WALMART.

11. Made a meal schedule to incorporate more variety and healthiness into my diet and Tim's.

12. Spent minimal time on Facebook and maximum time being productive.

I guess this is a spring for getting in shape, getting healthier, and lots of food. :P

Meaning

A lot of people seem to think their lives have no meaning. For me, art has always been my meaning. Music, whether I'm listening to it, playing it, writing it, or it's just a part of the background, has always been very uplifting, motivating, and inspirational. Drawing has become more prominent as of late. It's really nice making art for someone's tattoo idea or whatever and seeing them really pleased with your work. Fractals, jewelry, photography, writing...they're all really rewarding. It's great doing stuff that other people enjoy, especially when it's really fun to do in the first place.

Working 42 hours a week has really changed that. Suddenly, I'm lucky to write 20 words a day or listen to 5 songs other than the ones playing on the ride to and from work. I went out yesterday (it feels like a month ago already) to a flea market, and that was a nice change of pace. Then I worked until 1:40 AM, stayed up until 6 AM, and slept until 4. I'll be going to bed after only 5 hours of being awake just so I can be up for my early morning shifts this week.

Point is, I've hit this horrid cycle of trying and failing to sleep, being exhausted when I have to get up and go to work, then getting off and being too sore from work to get anything done. Today is my day off; that's the only reason I'm finding time for this blog post.

I have a Christmas ornament to mail out. I have a large batch of barbecue sauce to make and mail. I have a half-completed medical assistance form that needs to be finished and mailed back. I lost a tattoo commission because I was days late. It's all just very frustrating, disheartening, and generally depressing.

I'd love to just take two days off and get stuff done, but I know that, in all likelihood, I'd spend the first day just recovering from working. People just seem to get ruder and more unpleasant as Christmas grows closer. Working register at Target the past week, I've gained so much stress just from dealing with people. I'd much rather be out on the sales floor helping people find things than standing at a register bagging items and arguing that the $30 DVD someone is holding is not the $20 one that's on sale for $14. I usually give up, mostly to keep my own sanity relatively intact.

I've taken in mostly chocolate, sweets, and caffeine over the past week. I baked myself an entire cake just to have cake. It was what I did while I should have been making my second test batch of sauce. Point is, I'm sort of miserable.

I think the worst part is that I can handle this job. I'm fast, efficient, and don't call off unless I'm sick. I'm there on time and leave when they want me to leave. It's just not bad enough for me to need to quit. It's even improving my health in some ways. I'm regaining a lot of muscle that I lost from inactivity, and I'm getting used to being active again.

I'm only a seasonal hire. I have 90 days of employment, and maybe they'll decide to keep me, but I don't plan on staying. I'm just really unwilling to quit a job that I only have for 3 months. I'd rather be able to say I finished my seasonal time without issue.

The whole thing is pretty awful. I know I can do it, and that doesn't make it any better. I don't want to do it, but I want to quit even less. It's just a big pile of obligations and priorities that I don't want to deal with. 

Bagels Are Sadness

My family had no money for groceries when I asked a few days ago, and the food stamps I normally depend on haven't been renewed thanks to a system glitch somewhere, so I haven't really had much to eat this week. I was low on stuff last week. Last night I ate the last pack of ramen I had, and right now, about all I have is a bag of four plain bagels. There's some rice downstairs in the kitchen, but I ate tons of rice last week while we ran out of everything else.

I'll eat a bagel tonight, I guess, since the last thing I ate was a bagel this morning. Now I'm going to be sad while I eat it, and the next bagel will probably make me sad, too. I have a little cookie dough, some iced tea, stale cereals and cheese curls, and bagels. Sad-tasting bagels are the obvious choice. 

The Pros and Cons of My Health

I have more things wrong with me than I can keep track of. It's not all bad, though, and in some things are half great and half awful. There's almost definitely stuff I'm missing, but this is what I came up with over a few days.

The Good Stuff

1. My metabolism is ridiculously fast.

I can eat a full meal to the point of being very full, then be hungry again two hours later. I can essentially eat whatever I want and never gain a pound.

2. I'm bipolar.

The manic half of bipolar disorder leads to days of hyper, productive euphoria and good moods.

3. I look nice.

I have reasonably clear skin and a decent figure. I'm more comfortable with my body than most people ever will be.

4. I have excellent hearing.

It can be a little selective at times, but I can hear really slight sounds and make out conversations from very far away.

5. I metabolize sugar faster than most people.

This allows me to take in massive amounts of pixie sticks and not turn diabetic.

6. I have a high tolerance for pain.

Mostly because I live with it every day.

7. I have perfect blood pressure.

This amazes me. Everything else wrong, and my BP is right where it should be on the dot.

8. I'm a fast runner.

I'm short, so my tiny little legs don't let me keep up with everyone as well as I'd like, but I can run pretty fast if I need to.

9. I heal insanely fast.
I'm hard to cut open. If I do get a cut, it has to be really deep before I bleed even the tiniest amount. I almost never bruise. I don't callus. I heal so fast that I rarely scar, and my scars fade a lot over time. My broken finger healed like, two weeks ahead of schedule, much to the happiness of my doctor. 

The Bad Stuff 

1. My metabolism is ridiculously fast.

It's speeding up. I lost a bunch of weight a couple years ago. I was at 105 at my heaviest, I think, which was essentially a perfect weight for little 5-foot-tall me. I dropped down to 92 over the course of about 3 months, and no one knew why. I had no change in diet or anything. It just sort of happened when all my other issues happened. I've gotten back up to 95, and now, even though I eat constantly, I can't gain any more. I'm always hungry. I eat more than my boyfriend does, and he's gaining weight. There's not really much I can do about it.

2. I'm bipolar.

The depressive aspect of bipolar disorder comes with being miserable, snapping at everyone, feeling tired, being sad, and just generally being really unhappy with everything. There are also a whole ton of negative things that are symptoms, most of which I have (though whether they're from the bipolar or something else I don't know), such as chronic pain, mood swings, etc.

3. I have frequent headaches.

Sometimes they come on by themselves. Others, they're triggered. I get headaches really easily. Too much noise will give me one. So will frequently switching songs without hearing them fully. I think it's because it breaks the flow that my mind expects, but that's just a theory. I don't like loud noises; having the TV too loud is actually quite painful. Sounds I dislike, like whistling, can give me one. Interestingly enough, I've done entire works of art in Sharpie and had no issues.

4. My joints all ache.

I have arthritis in my hands. My left index finger, which I broke a few years ago, just started having severe pain. My right wrist was starting to develop carpal tunnel once, but I was able to reverse it. My knees ache a lot.

5. I have to crack my joints to keep them from causing excruciating pain.

I can crack a whole ton of things. It's how I start my morning so I can move. As time passes, my joints get very stiff and sore as pressure builds up. Cracking joints relieves the pressure, loosens them up, and lets me continue working. My back is the best example of this. My spine sort of contracts, and if I don't crack it, it feels like the bones are grating, and the slightest movement sends a sharp pain down my back as if I've been stabbed. It hurts enough that I can't move for a second after it happens. Cracking it makes it all better. It sucks, especially, since I know lots of people don't like the sound, but I really do need to do it. 

6. I have slight scoliosis.

It's a condition where your spine is curved. In my case, it's likely from heavy backpacks in my early school years. It's minor, but it makes my back a little sore sometimes depending on how I sit.

7. I probably have asthma.

At the very least, I have really weak lungs. Moderate exertion makes my lungs burn and ache, and it takes over an hour before the pain goes away. I spent most of my childhood years in a trailer we heated with kerosene heaters. I suspect the oily smoke didn't help my lung development much.

8. I have a very weak immune system.

I get sick easily. I get very high fevers, and there have been several times when I've spent a week being really, really sick.

9. I frequently get dizzy.

Seeing lights burst in my vision, dark spots, and sometimes my vision just going black all happen all to frequently. It happens a lot when I do too much physical activity, but sometimes I'll just be sitting at my computer doing nothing.

10. I cant handle heat.

My body runs at 95 degrees. It pretty much stops functioning in temperatures above 95, and slows down drastically above 85. I get nauseous to the point where I barely eat, I get dizzy, I black out, and I can't breathe. Last year, my boyfriend and I went to a big camping/concert/party weekend. The last day there, we were packing up the tent in the sun, and it was probably about 92 degrees. I hadn't eaten much for breakfast because our stove ran out of propane. I blacked out, almost threw up, and ended up sitting on the bumper in the shade soaking myself with water while he did most of the work. My heart rate was way up, and so was my breathing. I don't know if that was heat stroke point, but if it wasn't, it was pretty damn close.

11. I have terrible balance.

I'm lucky I can stand up without tipping over, and I do tip a lot. My ex used to say I'd better never end up in a situation where I needed to take a sobriety test, because I would fail miserably when totally sober. I can walk in high heels and sprint through the woods no problem, though.

12. I'm slightly lactose intolerant.

It's really minor, so it's not a huge deal, but it makes me a little picky about how much of what kind of milk I'm willing to drink. Too much makes me queasy.

13. My eyesight is awful.

I inherited bad eyesight on, like, all sides of my family. Things get blurry about 10 inches from my face, if that.

14. I sweat a lot.

Maybe it's because of my metabolism. I really don't know. It sucks, though. Even when I'm cold, I sweat.

15. I can't eat a lot.

I have a small stomach. On top of that, when I eat a lot, my heart rate speeds up and I get really tired while I digest stuff. I feel sort of sick and dizzy for about an hour.

16. I have a high tolerance for medication.

That means not much works for me, which isn't very good.

17. I have a few specific aches and pains that keep coming back.

I sometimes get a sharp pain in my left leg (right where it meets the hip) that forces me to walk with a really slight limp. I get it every now and then, and it goes away pretty quickly. My right ankle bothers me sometimes. My jaw hurts sometimes because I grind my teeth at night.

18. I get tons of bug bites.

My boyfriend and I have pretty substantial evidence that bugs go for the sweeter blood, and because of my naturally high blood sugar, I'm always the first choice. He used to be the only one in his family to ever get bitten. When I'm around, I get all the bites and he doesn't get any.

19. I can't tread water.

I mean, I can, but only for about 30 seconds. I'm not very buoyant, and my legs are sort of weak.

20. Being startled is very painful for me.

Adrenaline makes my heart beat faster and my chest ache. It really hurts, and it takes a while for that to calm down and go away. I don't appreciate being scared.

21. My heart rate can go past 200 when sitting still.

It fluctuates rapidly. It's anything but slow and steady.

22. I have frequent chest pains.

Doctors have looked and found nothing. Of course.

23. I can't stay on a regular sleep schedule.

I'm all over the place. Being bipolar doesn't help any, especially when I can stay up for 26 hours before feeling tired, be awake for 8 hours and need sleep, or be unable to stay asleep for more than 6 hours.

24. Sometimes my hands shake horribly.

Other times they're perfectly steady. 

Daily Art - "Blackberry Swirl"

I imagined that this looks like some sort of chocolate blackberry cheesecake or something. If that doesn't exist, it probably should.

Food Ruins Lives

I'm a supertaster. That means I have an excessive amount of taste buds (like, 5 times the normal, on average). I can pick out preservatives and chemicals that most people can't notice. Being a supertaster isn't necessarily a bad thing. The reason it made me life horrible is because as a child, I wouldn't eat tons of things that were put in front of me. I often went hungry. That whole "she'll eat it if she's hungry enough" idea just didn't work for me. It was to the point where my doctor said to find things I would eat and just let me eat them.

I've spent my whole life getting tons of questions and complaints about why I don't like this or that. It contributed largely to my self isolation, something I still deal with on a regular basis. Having dinner with someone is among the worst situations you can put me in. It's stressful, and usually I just want to leave and cry. I can't eat people's home-cooked meals, and as soon as I turn down food, the questions start. "Well what do you like? I want to know so I can cook for you." No. Please don't. Please just let me crawl into your oven and kill myself first, okay? It would be preferable.

Then there are always the people who say I'll grow out of things, or that I can learn to like things if I just eat them enough. On the contrary, I've actually grown to dislike a lot of things I used to eat as a kid. As for forcing myself to eat things, that won't work, either. If I eat something I don't like, it gets worse and worse the more I try to force it down. It triggers the gag reflex really easily. If you don't want me to throw up, don't tell me to keep eating things.

I get a lot of complaints from people that I don't like trying things, either. Of course I don't. It's the worst when there's a food with a bunch of stuff in it and among the ingredients is a food I dislike. Don't think that I won't taste it. In fact, since I don't like it, I'll notice it a thousand times more. I have a really clear idea of what I like and what I don't like, so unless the food is totally different from anything I've ever had, I can say with probably 95% accuracy whether I'll like it or not. And really, it's no one's business if I don't want to try something. All that does is stress me out. I spent years of my life having people watch me eat just to see what I ate and, in some cases, if I ate at school at all. I was always done before everyone else was even served by the cafeteria. Being a really, really shy person, I cried my fair share of times in elementary school because of stuff like this. It was a legitimately traumatizing experience for me, and I always hoped it would stop once I was around people who were more mature than the average 8-year-old. It really hasn't.

I've also had people who don't understand the whole supertaster thing at all and tell me I'll be fine if I just dilute my food. No. It doesn't work that way. If the flavor is there, I taste it, and if it's something I don't like, I won't eat it. If I do, that gag reflex thing comes into play. It's not a matter of making things less flavorful; it's a matter of using flavors I like.

Anyone reading this who doesn't know me in real life may not have a clear idea yet of how miserable my life is because of my horribly specific diet. Let me list some stuff (I'm sure I'll forget some things) that I will and will not eat.

Things I Won't Eat
-Cheese. I used to like it, stopped eating it, and then couldn't stomach it again. It's sickening. No matter what cheese I try, it ends up being really gross. There's only one exception, and that's cheese curls. They're different somehow. As you can imagine, hating cheese rules out a huge chink of the world's foods.

-Pasta. The only pasta I'll eat is ramen, and even then, I'm picky about flavors and brands. There's another large chunk of options gone.

-Seafood. No exceptions.

-Sandwiches. The mixing textures of bread and other things is really awful to me. I used to like bread and peanut butter. Can't handle that anymore.

-Mexican food. I know that's general, but pretty much all of it makes me nauseous just smelling it.

-Beans. There are no beans that don't induce nausea by smell alone.

-Citrus. Lemon is okay in some teas and stuff, but I can't touch orange or lime.

-Pizza. No exceptions, for pretty much the same reason as sandwiches. This really screwed me over as a kid, especially since it seems like a food that everyone is expected to like and eat.

-Jelly. Not even in pastries. Yuck. 

-Egg. Unless baked into something, eggs are awful. 

Things I Will Eat (Conditionally)

-Chicken. I will only ever eat breast meat, and unless it's some sort of fried, I probably won't like it. I have tons of ways to season chicken that I fry in the oven, and they're all very delicious. I can actually eat a lot of restaurant chicken because most places have chicken tenders that are breaded and fried, which is the way I like it.

-Pork. I eat thick pork chops and pork tenderloin. Pulled pork is a texture I can't deal with. I like my meat in chunk form, thanks. Also, never breaded. I just want my meat.

-Beef. Only as a roast, and only if done with the right seasonings and well done. Most marinades I've tried are gross.

-Some fruit, like bananas, apples, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and black olives. That's about it.

-A few veggies (some are fruits that are considered veggies), like cucumbers, lettuce (if totally plain), and potatoes, if done with very specific conditions. 

-Bread. I like Italian the best, but I regularly munch on cinnamon bread. There are lots of breads, bagels, and muffins I like.

-Oatmeal. I eat it dry, much to most people's confusion.

-Cereal. I'm not terribly picky about cereal, but there are definitely a bunch I prefer over others. Crispix is my favorite.

-Pancakes and waffles. Blueberry waffles, however, are a bad idea.

So I guess that's about as much as I want to write without thinking over my diet in excruciating detail and breaking down the really varied snack foods I eat. I guess the point of me doing this at all is to have something to send people to when they ask me irritating questions in the future.

Things I've Done Before I Hit 20

I'll be turning 20 next month. As messy and screwy as my first 19 years have been, I've done quite a few things that most people do way later in life, if at all. Some are great, some are awful. It's sort of a list of "when I was your age" stories that will be mentioned years down the road to the grandkids puppy. Most aren't terribly interesting, but I know plenty of people older than I am who don't know how to do some of this stuff and/or haven't done this stuff yet.

12

• I taught myself basic HTML. I needed it for my Neopets profile. XD 

13

• Got into fantasy and sort of turned into a little goth kid. Still a little goth kid at heart, I think. 

14

• I had my first poetry published internationally. I've since had a bunch of poems published.
• I got involved in my first serious relationship. It lasted 11 months, and it was great. 

15

• I started my business. 

16

• I developed arthritis after logging some intense Morrowind time. :( (This may have been earlier, now that I think about it.)
• I tamed a wild Tim. I still have him, but he still chews the furniture sometimes.
• Tons of health problems come on out of nowhere! D: 

17

• Saw my first concert other than a local show. It was Celtic Thunder because tickets were free. :D 
• I did my first major craft show, Oddmall, which I've done twice. 
• I dropped out of high school (unintentionally) and was able to focus much more on my business. 
• I broke my first bone! I was in a really minor fender bender, and the airbag hit a ring I was wearing. 
• I went on vacation with Tim and some friends. I'd never been on a trip without family, and also never stayed more than a few hours at a beach. It was wonderful. 
• I got my laptop. Best. Thing. Ever. ♥ 

18

• I taught myself how to make fractals. 
• I learned how to cook. Now I could effectively live on my own and eat really well. 
• I sat down and watched my first anime series all the way through. It was Death Note, since I sort of liked it and missed most of it on TV. I mainly watched it to catch up with Tim's TiVo'd episodes, but I turned out really enjoying it. I had never watched any anime until meeting him. 
• Somewhere in here is where I actually started hanging out with Tim's friends, I think. He had never really invited me to do anything with them, so it looked to them like I hated them and looked to me like Tim didn't like having friends. The few times we did hang out were sort of awkward. Now we hang out all the time.

19

• Started drawing digitally with a tablet. I love it. 
• I contributed work to 2 video games. 
• I tried rice for the first time in my life. I'm not super fond of it. 
• I published a novel. 

20

• I had best get a job, or I'm going to move to a place where jobs aren't a luxury. 

The Tale of a Crusty Old Lady

I was at the state park for lunch with my mom and boyfriend yesterday. There's a great concession stand that sells restaurant-quality food, and they have the best fries (fresh cut to order!) we've ever had. There was this little old lady there, and we learned she was waiting for her friend to get out of the pool so she could go home. She'd been waiting only half an hour, but to this lady, that seemed like enough time for her friend to swim, and she wanted to go. She was 82 or 83 (she couldn't remember) and suffered from dementia. She was a very nice sweet lady, but you could tell she was a little out of it.

She was telling us how if she went in the pool she'd "probably croak in there," but then she said that would be a good thing because she could go to Heaven and see her parents and the rest of her relatives. She told us how much she missed them and how ready she was to die and see them again. She also asked us if we were saved by Jesus, which, being a bunch of pagans we most certainly are not, but we humored her and said we were. The last thing any of us wanted was a Bible lesson. She was already throwing out verses in casual conversation, and our food wasn't even done being prepared yet. This lady sat with us whilw we ate and talked about a bunch of random little things.

She said she really wanted to work, but places don't need her. She doesn't want money; she just wants to help people out. Eventually her friend got out of the pool so she could go home, and that was that. The whole experience was sort of sad.

Habenero Pineapple BBQ Sauce

So I made a barbecue sauce a few months back on a whim when the boyfriend and I found fresh habenero peppers at Wal Mart. He loves things that are spicy enough to give you ulcers, so we bought a bunch and I threw this together. It's the first sauce recipe I've ever come up with, and by some miracle, it's freaking amazing. It's got a good amount of kick to it, and the batch is small, so if you want to be able to really slather it on, I'd recommend doubling or tripling the recipe, all except for the habeneros so the spiciness is more diluted. I want to make a batch with cayenne peppers instead of habeneros to see how that tastes, too, but I haven't done it yet.

It's on Instructables if you want pictures (but it's easy, I promise). http://www.instructables.com/id/Habenero-Pineapple-BBQ-Sauce/

Ingredients:

3 Habañero peppers
1/2 cup pineapple
½ cup balsamic vinegar
1/8 cup molasses
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp hickory Liquid Smoke

Other things you'll need:
A blender or food processor
A meduim-sized pot

1. Preparing your Peppers
Remove the seeds from the peppers. You'll want to wear gloves so you don't get the oils on your hands. Cut about 1/4 of the pineapple into chunks. Put both of those into your blender or food processor and liquefy.
 
2. Simmer
Mix all of your ingredients together, including the liquified mix, in a pot. Simmer until it reaches the desired consistancy, which takes about 20 minutes. Stir occasionally to keep the pineapple sugars from separating.
 
3. EAT IT ON EVERYTHING
Enjoy!

  

Five Years from Now

I may seem like a walking cloud of anxiety and depression most of the time, but underneath all that misery, I'm actually a pretty optimistic person. I have goals and hopes and dreams and expectations. They change from time to time, but there are always a few constants. So where do I want to be in five years? In a lot of places at once, I think.

1. I want to be out of this house.
If you've never lived with every one of your single mother's unmarried siblings, never had to deal with a Downs Syndrome-afflicted uncle getting rapidly worse, never had to yell to the person in the same room because the people in the next are laughing too loud at terrible sitcoms for you to be heard, never had to check your silverware before use to make sure it's clean, never had to clean up the bathroom with every use, never been the only one in the house to go hungry a dozen nights in a row because no one thinks to ask you if you want dinner, never had to lock your own bedroom so people don't go in and steal things, never wanted to run away from the immense amount of negativity all around you every day, then you made out better than I did.

2. I want to have my Visual Arts degree.
Last most of you knew, my career choice was a teacher. Well, I wanted to be a Latin teacher, which is a certification type thing after doing other teaching stuff. Then Abington dropped me out, and I didn't get my full 4 years of high school Latin. I decided I'd go for Social Studies Education, figuring I'd always have the option to switch over to Latin. Then I learned Abington dropped their Latin program. I really don't want to teach Latin at a Catholic school, where it's required and I have a bunch of snobby students who don't want to be there. I'd rather teach at a public school, where the kids are in my class because they want to be. Thanks for killing that chance, Abington. So anyway, it made me really reconsider my career. I've been getting super hardcore back into drawing and stuff, and already you can see my progress. I learned that Keystone has a Visual Arts program, so I'll be going for that to improve and hopefully get somewhere.

3. I want a room full of stuff.
Art stuff. Photography stuff. Craft stuff. Jewelry stuff. Computer stuff. Music stuff. So much stuff that if I get inspired, I have everything I need in one spot. GOD, I LOVE STUFF!

4. I want a bigger kitchen.
I love cooking and baking, but my kitchen here is really tiny. There are too many people and not enough square feet for me to be able to cook as much as I'd like.

5. I want cats.
I love my cats. I don't think I'll be taking them with me when I move, though. Sylvester and Tiger are both 10+, and they had a hard time adjusting to a move when they were 5 and 4. I'd rather not stress them out again. Psyche might go with me, but I'm not sure. She does like me the most out of the three of them. If none of them go with me, totally adopting another kitty.

6. I want to have a job.
Sort of goes without saying, really, but with a Visual Arts degree, there's no guarantee that I'll have a solid career right out of college. It's more likely that I'll have a good-paying job that leaves me with enough spare time to do artsy stuff on the side.

7. I want to be with Tim.
It's no less important because it's this far down. It's just something I don't think of often because when I think of where I'll be in the future, he's always in the picture.

8. I want to have fans.
Or rather, I want one of my projects to have fans. All the projects I've started (or tried to start), and I feel so unnoticed. I just want one of them to catch on and get popular.

9. I want to have at least 3 books done.
I'll be finishing one within the next month, if all goes well. It's taken a little over a year so far. With college and stuff in the way, I imagine the next ones will take longer, so 3 seems to be a pretty realistic number.

10. I want a better understanding and knowledge of the metaphysical world.
It's something I'm currently working on. I've got a general knowledge of gemstones and horoscopes, and a very slight knowledge of natural remedies. I'd like to expand on all of that and learn new things.

11. I want to be healthier.
I imagine I'll be in better health once I get out of this massive amount of stress. Also, once I do more with number 10. I think it would be wonderful to go up stairs without my heart rate reaching 150.

12. I want a tattoo.
Seems so simple compared to the rest on here. I've had one in mind for a little while now, but I have no money, and any money I make has to go towards a new laptop. I feel like this is one of those things that I'll think about for an eternity before actually doing, and so it's on this list.

13. I want to like things.
I'm a super taster, which means I have like, 5 times the normal amount of taste buds. I can pick up preservatives that are normally undetectable and notice very slight differences in seasonings. It's great by itself, but as a kid, I never learned to like a lot of really common foods, and in a lot of cases, I don't think I ever will. There are too many things that trigger the gag reflex for me. Tim's managed to find some stuff I like, and I wish I liked more. It's really hard going through life on a diet as specific as mine.

14. I want to be child-free.
God, I hate children. They're gross, messy little noise makers that only serve to annoy me more than Tim can when he tries his hardest. I think I would kill myself. If he wants kids, I'll get him a puppy and put it in a stroller.

A Long Absence

Stuff is, well, a wreck. I'm having terrible heart palpitations, and just yesterday, I had some really bad pain from food poisoning. Don't eat bad potatoes. Seriously. I'm busy working on the video game still. There's lots of concept art for me to do. I'm still writing, and I'm trying to get super hardcore awesome at digital art. That's what's going on with me. I can't say when I'll have enough time to get back to doing this blog, but I really do plan on it.

Potatoes

Anyone who's ever bought a bag of potatoes and forgotten about them knows that they sprout roots really quickly. Well, we had a bag with six potatoes that sprouted, so my boyfriend and I went out and planted them in the garden. We thought they were dead because they showed no signs of growth for a couple weeks, but recently the leaves popped up through the dirt. It looks like we'll have fresh potatoes after all. :D

Daily Art - "Chocolate Covered Strawberries"

I was originally going to color this like a latte swirled with cream, but I changed my mind while digging through my gradients and made it into more of a cheesecake-like fractal. :D

Potato Rolls

Around Easter, I made some potato rolls. I followed a recipe from allrecipes, but somehow screwed it up a lot. XD The rolls were great, anyway, though. I'll post my version here, and you can check out the original here: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Colleens-Potato-Crescent-Rolls/Detail.aspx

Ingredients

2 potatoes, peeled and cut into 1 inch cubes
1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
1 1/2 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
2/3 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
6 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup butter, melted

Directions

1.Place potatoes in a saucepan, and cover with water. Bring to a boil, and cook until tender, about 15 minutes. Drain, cool, and mash.
2.In a large bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
3.When yeast is ready, mix in 1 cup mashed potatoes, sugar, butter, eggs, salt, and 3 cups flour. Stir in the remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time, until dough has become stiff but still pliable. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes. Lightly oil a large bowl, place the dough in the bowl, and turn to coat with oil. Cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 8 hours, and up to 5 days.
4.Deflate the dough, and turn it out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead it a little, then make balls of dough about 2 1/2 inches across. Cover, and let rise for 1 hour. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
5.Bake in preheated oven for 15 to 20 minutes, or until golden brown.

I totally know that the original recipe is for crescents, but that seemed like too much work at the time. Also, I made these a second time with different yeast, which happened to have expired 2 years ago. Don't do that. You get balls of dough that are crispy on the outside and really hard to digest, according to my boyfriend.

Healthy Eating

I was reading an article the other day (link) all about foods that people think are healthy, but really aren't. Some of them I already knew, but others were really surprising. Yougurt, for instance, is overall good for you, but did you know that the fruit on the bottom is loaded with sugars? Instant oatmeal is another surprise. The package shows you all kinds of vitamins and stuff. Too bad all of the nutrients are chemical based and there's lots of added sugar. Then there's soy procucts. Not only is soy not as good for you as other things, it can be flat out harmful, with a whole list of negative effects ranging from reproductive problems to cognitive decline. Diet soda is also awful for human consumption, which I already knew. Anyway, you can read the article for more info. It's sorted out well, so you won't have to dig through tons of text to find something worth reading.